Having a baby is a life-changing experience, filled with joy, but also with pain and challenges. For me, giving birth naturally meant enduring intense pain and screaming. However, instead of supporting me, my husband Owen accused me of embarrassing him in the delivery room. This hurt me deeply, and I decided to teach him a lesson once we got home.
The journey back from the hospital was quiet, with our beautiful baby boy in my arms. In my mind, I carefully planned what I would say to Owen. As we walked into our home, he turned to me with a look that confused me.
He said, “It is a woman’s duty to endure pain gracefully. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I think you could have handled it better.”
His condescending tone and lack of empathy shocked me. How could he believe that my pain and reaction during childbirth were something to be managed for his comfort? I couldn’t stay silent.
I mustered up the courage to speak, struggling to keep my voice steady. “Owen, do you even have the slightest idea of what childbirth feels like? Can you comprehend the pain, fear, and sheer effort it takes to bring a new life into this world?”
Before he could respond, I continued, raising my hand to stop him. “You don’t. Yet, you thought it was appropriate to silence me and make me feel ashamed. Do you know how that made me feel?”
His face softened a little, but I wasn’t finished expressing myself. “I was scared, Owen. I was in agony. And instead of supporting me, you made me feel as if I should be ashamed of expressing pain. Is that fair? Is that being human?”
He began to show remorse in his voice, finally realizing the depth of his actions. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he admitted.
“Well, you did,” I replied, my voice breaking. “And it’s not just about the birth. It’s about our entire relationship. If you believe it’s my duty to endure pain gracefully for your comfort, then you don’t understand the true meaning of partnership.”
Embarrassed, Owen looked down, acknowledging his mistake. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I truly am. I was so focused on my own feelings that I didn’t consider yours. I promise to do better.”
Taking a deep breath, I felt the weight of his words. “I hope you mean that, Owen. Being a father means understanding and supporting your family, even in their most vulnerable moments.”
He nodded, meeting my eyes with newfound sincerity. “I do mean it. I want to learn and be there for you and our son in every way possible.”
In the quiet of our home, a promise of a new beginning hung in the air. Healing would take time, but Owen’s willingness to understand was a step in the right direction. As we embarked on this new chapter as parents, I hoped that we could build a partnership based on empathy, respect, and genuine support.
