An old man calls his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried.

He calls his sister.

She says, “Like hell, they’re getting divorced!”

She calls their father immediately.

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You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, “Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.”

An old man placed an order for one hamburger

An elderly couple entered a restaurant and ordered a single meal which consisted of a hamburger, french fries, and a single drink.
When the meal arrived, the man cut the hamburger in half and placed one part of it in front of his wife.

He then did the same with the french fries and placed the drink in between.

They both took sips one by one.

While the man had his piece of the hamburger, his wife was just sitting there watching him eat.

A man who noticed them decided to approach them and offered to buy them another meal, but the elderly man said, “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”

As he continued eating, his wife was patiently waiting and was taking sips now and then.

The man who was at the restaurant approached them once again and offered to at least buy them another drink.

The elderly man refused once again saying that he and his wife share everything.

Finally, when the husband finished eating and wiped his mouth, the man who was observing them approached them for the third time because he couldn’t help but learn why the woman was waiting for her husband to eat.

He got closer and asked her: “What is that you are waiting for?”