An elderly woman visited a store and requested seven kilograms of potatoes.
The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with.

The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped similarly. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else.

The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots.

Let me guess,” said the owner with a sour face, “you want them wrapped individually.”

“Oh, that would be grand,” she said.

The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag.

The woman then asked: “What are in those crates behind you?”

The man flushed red and said, “Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!”

A husband and wife were walking down

a high street when the wife spotted a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window.

She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it. Although she wants it, he simply doesn’t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it’ll be hers one day.

A month passes, and the wife is at home wondering where on earth her husband is.

She angrily calls his cell phone. “Where the hell are you?” she asks.

Darling, you remember that jewelry store where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money that time, and I said ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day’?”

“Yeah, I remember that my love!” she replies, smiling and blushing profusely as she does.

“I’m in the bar just next to that.”