In November 2022, an anonymous poster turned to Reddit’s “Off My Chest” forum to share her story. She began by revealing that she had been in a relationship with her fiancé for six years and had been engaged for the past eight months. While she took the lead in most of the wedding planning, her fiancé, whom she referred to as Ryan, occasionally offered his input.
About a month ago, in October, Ryan surprised OP with an unexpected request. He mentioned that he had been discussing wedding plans with some of his coworkers and suggested that she should not wear a white dress.
Ryan’s proposition puzzled the original poster, but she brushed it off for the time being, associating the suggestion with his artistic nature. She initially thought it might be related to how the wedding photos would turn out or some other creative consideration.
In the aftermath of the argument, she couldn’t help but be “disgusted” by his actions, causing her to seriously reconsider their future together.
However, OP remained steadfast in her desire to wear white and conveyed this to him. Ryan’s reaction seemed to be a mix of annoyance, but he ultimately let the matter drop.
What Happened after the Woman Bought a White Wedding Dress?
Two weeks before their wedding, the woman finally decided to purchase her wedding dress, setting off a storm of controversy with her fiancé. He was noticeably irritated and insisted on seeing the dress, but she firmly declined, wanting to maintain the element of surprise for their special day.
Pushing further, he inquired about the dress’s color, and when she disclosed it was white, his reaction was nothing short of explosive. The insistence on a white wedding dress bewildered her, as it was a conventional choice for brides. Perplexed by his preference for red, she probed deeper, only to have Ryan unveil a shocking belief: in his view, brides should only wear white if they were “pure.”
Offering some context, their relationship had begun when OP was 21, with her fiancé just turning 20. He had been a virgin when they met, and she had a single previous partner, her high school sweetheart of four years. While initial insecurities had plagued their relationship, they seemed to move past them—until that moment.
In a desperate attempt to win the woman over to his viewpoint, Ryan sought support from his mother, but she ended up siding with her. In a tense confrontation, Ryan, his mother, and OP argued vigorously in their living room about the symbolism tied to her chosen dress.
Even his mother pointed out that he was no longer a virgin, suggesting he should also wear red. The confrontation reduced Ryan to tears, yet he remained steadfast in his belief that her wearing white would deceive their wedding guests and insisted that the standards were somehow different for men.
What Did the Woman Decide?
The subsequent turn of events shook OP’s faith in the idea of marrying Ryan. In the aftermath of the argument, she couldn’t help but be “disgusted” by his actions, causing her to seriously reconsider their future together.
What confounded her even more was the fact that Ryan, who wasn’t particularly religious, was fixated on her past, especially her loss of virginity at 18, a time long before they had even met. This revelation weighed heavily on her, leading her to vent her frustrations openly, seeking understanding from anyone who would listen.
In a later update on the “Dating Advice” forum, dated November 24, 2022, OP found herself in an entirely new predicament. Having broken off her engagement in her late 20s, she faced her first date in six years at the time.
Her first date in several years was set at a lovely waterfront seafood restaurant in North Carolina in November, and she was unsure what attire would be appropriate. Commenters reportedly suggested she wear red.
